Struggling

I am struggling to find contentment in my life lately. I constantly feel like I'm failing at something. I am unhappy with my work-life balance. I have been questioning whether I want to return to my school job after the summer break. I am in a position financially where the extra money is nice, but we don’t need it to survive.

A few weeks before summer break, I ended up at home on a work day because I hurt myself and decided to give myself a healing day. And while I couldn't do much around the house to get caught up on things, what I could do felt amazing for my soul. I was able to do things for my home and my family that I hadn’t done in months. 

Currently being on summer break, the family care part of my soul is fed, and even when I’m feeling stressed, I am still relaxed. But then I get a text from a coworker or run into one of my school kids in the store, and I miss them, but they also instantly cause stress in my body.

If I leave my job, I would miss socializing, the kids, and the extra money, but my mental health would improve. I wouldn’t feel like I'm neglecting my family because work exhausts me mentally. But I worry that I would feel like a weak slacker who couldn’t handle being out in the working world instead of working from home. 

What sucks the most is that being home and being at work each feed different parts of me that need to be fed. So no matter what I choose, I forfeit something I want while keeping something I want.